Bless the Writing

Last Thursday morning, at three o'clock in the morning, I tried to roll over and there was a cat blocking me then I realized I had to pee, and by the time I got back into bed, I was wide awake. And for the first time in awhile, my brain decided to it was time again to torment with all my regrets and what ifs and failures and if onlys.
I even berated myself for the books on writing -- one a memoir by a writer and the other about writing novels -- I'd ordered the day before in a bout of online retail therapy. 

Finally, I said to myself, "Sara, you have to give up writing. This is getting ridiculous, this torturing yourself. Why did you buy those books?? You have to give up writing and become a full-time teacher."

That was a dark night of the soul. 
In which a seed was planted.
And I say that in the spirit of hopefulness and transformation because...what happens in the dark when a seed is planted? 
With the right nourishment, it germinates and it grows. 
If you do two things simultaneously: If you leave it alone and if you pay attention. 
Step back and watch. 

Sometimes it happens rather quickly. 

Three hours later, on my morning walk, just as the sun came up over the river, my brain said, "Hey, I've been thinking. Why not take all that stuff you think about at three o'clock in the morning and turn it into a book of encouragement for young writers? Why don't you turn your angst into a power for good?"

Absolutely. I knew I could do. I felt the truth of that statement in every cell in my body. I can do this.

Later that day, I had a Zoom conversation with a minister in Toronto about her plans for my book, Alphabet of Faith. It's a year-long endeavour, incorporating my book into worship and Sunday school, with playlists and photos. It sounds amazing! And creative and thought-provoking! I'm in awe and very humbled by what my book inspired in this minister. 
At the end of our conversation, she told me again how grateful she was that I'd written that book,  blessed me all over, then told me to keep writing. 

Keep writing. 

So I am. Since -- strangely or coincidentally or no coincidence at all-ly -- the last week of April was not pre-booked with any teaching work, I booked the whole week off to work on the book idea that came to me while walking
I've never felt so much energy attached to a writing project as I do to this one. It was so strong (and still is) that I simply could not let it go, could not ignore it, could not miss this chance. I've missed so many opportunities in the past because I hesitate or overthink or don't act soon enough/at all, that I wasn't going to let this opportunity slip past me. 

Listen: if you look at the patterns in your life, you may see that you get certain lessons to learn -- and they keep coming at you until you learn them. 
This was mine: Missed opportunities. But instead of getting harder, the universe actually made it easier for me to see it and do it this time! 

Keep writing. Oh, and here's a week with nothing to do! 

The best part is that it's a short-term project. I don't have to write the whole book, just a book proposal - synopsis, sample chapters, overview. This is how you keep the energy circulating on high - get at it and not have the time frame dragged out. 

Something is at work in my life, friends. I love that. I love when things unfold in mysterious ways that can't be explained yet somehow make sense. If you don't try to explain them, they make sense! This totally does. The energy attached to the book idea, the spirit at work through me and that minister, all of it says
don't give up
pay attention
keep writing

keep doing whatever it is you love to do
because the world needs your passion and your ideas
the world needs what you to do what you feel called to do 

~ SJ


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